I watched him wink at me across the class room, I had been wanting him to ask me out for a long time. The bell rang signalling the end of class, he walked up to me and asked me if I wanted to go out with him. Saying the yes was the worst mistake I ever made. After about a week of being with him, I was walking home with my friend whom I knew since second grade. When I saw my boyfriend the next day he yelled at me for walking home with my best friend. It led to us arguing and he ended up hitting me, giving me a black eye. He apologized repeatedly but I could not say anything. I thought about it the rest of the day and night and decided to break up with him. But when I tried to he hit me, my lip was bleeding a lot, he threatened to kill me if I ever left him. I stayed. He hit me at least two times a week, my family was used to seeing my face beat up because I used to get into fights with girls a lot so they never questioned it.

 

Finally after two months I broke down. I stayed the night at my best friend Brittany's house for some support. I turned off my phone so he would not call me. My friend and her dad left to pick up dinner but I stayed behind to clean the mess I made in my room. My friend knew I needed to think anyway so she left with her dad. I remember getting  dizzy after I started to clean so I lied down on the bed. I felt somebody licking my toe but Brittany didn't have a dog. I opened my eyes and saw my boyfriend licking my toe, my feet were tied to the poles of the bed. "What are you..." I was about to ask what he was doing but he jumped on top of me before I could finish. I struggled to get him off of me but he was stronger, he pinned me down and tied my wrists to the bed. I screamed but he covered my mouth and took out his knife. "Scream and you will regret it" he said and began to tear my clothing with his knife. It took all my will power to not scream. He started to rape me. I never felt anything so painful and I couldn't even struggle. My wrists started bleeding because I was trying to get free from the rope. He smiled when he saw the blood. I stopped struggling and cried, "Hunny, the more you struggle the more I love this," He licked the tears from my left cheek and continued, "don't pretend you aren't enjoying this" I felt myself whisper for help and he laughed at  me and continued squeezing my breast. After what felt like hours I finally heard the door open. He quickly got off me and climbed out the window, before running off he blew a kiss at me and that was when I screamed as loud as I could. Brittany and her father ran in and untied me. I remember crying and screaming, I begged her dad to not tell my mom or grandparents until finally he gave in.

 

After that it's all a blur. I remember hearing from a friend that he went to jail but I know it was not from me because I did not turn him in. This was four years ago, I was only fourteen. About 3 months ago, the month I was turning 18 I was at the mall and I saw him again. He stared at me and winked. I had a bad panic attack and cried so much. I had told my mom when I was sixteen about the rape and when I told her that was him we immediately left for home. That was the first time I had seen him since the rape. I never talked to Brittany after that night, I don't even know why I guess seeing her made me remember what happened. I still have nightmares, flashbacks and I suffer with deep depression but I am a survivor. And I'm only thankful he didn't kill me.