I am 15. I was in a relationship for 2 years (started when i was 13... he was 17) with a guy that I had known since I was a kid. He had always been like a brother to me, so "going out" was weird at first, but I got used to it. About 5 months into the relationship, he started asking for sex. I told him that I could give him head if he really wanted it, but nothing more. He said he wanted more then that, but wouldn't push me, as I was a virgin.

So, we had oral sex... and it wasn't that bad. I enjoyed it a lot, actually... which is really hard to admit now. Well, after we fooled around, he wanted more. He took out condoms and told me he was prepared. He said he wanted my first time to be really special, but I didn't want to have sex. I was 13! I told him I wanted to wait, but the thing was... I had became really popular at school. I was an 8th grader with a JUNIOR BOYFRIEND. I was cool. Girls were envious, and I was treated with respect. I liked that a lot, because I had always been a geek. And plus, what girl doesn't want to be popular? (oh the regrets looking back...)

This guy, the "love of my life", let's call him Jack. Jack told me he was going to break up with me if we didn't "do it." He told me we would be together for the rest of our lives if we did. I was completely naive. I let him have sex with me. It was my first time, it hurt like hell, and I did not enjoy it in the least. Jack then started calling me every day. His friends told me he was convinced that I was cheating on him. Jack would want to know exactly where I was, every minute, of every day. I had to tell him where I was going, the reason I was going, and what I was going to do. He started punishing me when I ate, because he said I was starting to gain weight. I stopped eating, because if you tell a 14 year old girl she is fat, she becomes very self conscious. And plus, a blow to the stomach enough to make on throw up her meals is enough to scare you. I lost a lot of weight, didn't have energy to play sports after school, gave up basketball, the one game I had played since I was a kid and was actually good at. My parents brought me to a therapist because I wasn't eating... I just told them I hated my body, which, I did.

Jack started getting even more controlling though. He wanted sex all the time, but not just "making love"... he wanted it really rough. Jack would tie me down, stick weird objects like hairbrushes and curling irons (first turned off, then turned on eventually) inside of me. It hurt, and I pleaded for him to stop. Eventually I got tired of trying. He would hit me, and I would tell people I ran into the wall (I was always a clumsy kid...). Jack hurt me, a lot.

I was always too scared to tell. He went off to college this year, and I told my guidance counselor at school. She was forced (by law) to tell the police. It didn't get far. He is gone, though, and I am safe. He is going to school 3000 miles away. Sorry this is so long,

 -Bee