I said yes yesterday and no today.
It did not matter.
What I said did not matter.
I let it happen yesterday.
I did not want it to happen today.
What I wanted did not matter.
 
He held both my wrists with one hand and shoved all four of his fingers inside me with the other hand.
“Stop” I said pushing him away while trying to shut my legs
“You know you want it” he whispered in my ear.
I pleaded with him to stop.
“I’m not on the pill anymore. I might get pregnant!”
“Good, I want you to have my baby. You can have every body else’s” he said angrily. “What are you too good to have mine?” he questioned.
I should have known by now that line never worked anymore since we had gotten engaged.
He pushed himself inside me.
I gave up.
I won’t fight back anymore.
I’ll just get it over with.
He likes it even better when I fight it.
He says the harder I fight the sooner and harder he cums.
 
“You like it, your wet. You like it this way. You want it rough bitch” he said.
It began to feel good.
I felt so dirty.
I felt so wrong.
“I didn’t make you, you wanted to fuck me” he said when he was finished.
He grinned at me.
 He then asked “See your cum all over the bed?”
He sneered “Your crazy if you think I forced you to fuck me after five years, besides you got off I felt it. You got off just like yesterday.”
He smirked and asked “Anyway do you remember what happened the last time you called the cops on me?”
 
He put his arms around me.
“I’m never going to let you go. Your so beautiful. I love you so much” he said softly as he gently caressed my face.
I hate him.
The subject quickly changed.
“Hey where do you want to eat tonight? You can pick. You better get dressed baby” he said.
He casually rolled over, “Hurry up, I’m starving’ he said.
 
I washed out my insides with half water and half vinegar.
I had heard somewhere that the vinegar would kill sperm.
God I hope I don’t get pregnant!
I got into the shower.
His cum tinged with my blood ran down my leg.
I am being ridiculous; I don’t have it so bad.
Rapists don’t take their victims out to dinner afterwards and they definitely are not engaged to them.
I have never had a black eye; I have never been put in the hospital.
What the hell am I complaining for?
I must be crazy.
I’m wearing a six grand engagement ring he bought.
He tells me he loves me.
I said no today, but I said yes yesterday.