It's ok we are married!!
Translated this means
No means Yes and Yes means Yes,
Consent was given the day we walked down the aisle
To last "till death do us part" (OR DIVORCE in this case)
It means, if it hurts then i push harder, the more you protest the harder i push,
Because you are only exaggarating,
You really do enjoy it, it is just a game you are playing
I know this how, just because i said so!!
And because you are here just to satisfy my needs,
It means, i can have my way with your body
Whenever i choose, however i choose,
Your feelings and choices dont matter,
And if you protest too much that is because you are frigid,

I didnt even know what the word meant, but to me
It just meant there was something else wrong with me,
It was all my fault AGAIN!!

 

So what is my response, lie back, give up the protest,
Clench my pillow, cry outwardly then eventually cry inside,

Believe i am worthless
Because i allow myself to be abused again and again
By every man i get close to, why shouldn't I,
Didn't my father say i was stupid for so long

till i believed him,
And then beat with his belt for doing things wrong
(Never remembered what)
Didn't i let all the people at school ridicule me,

i never fought back,
The one time i did i got Detention,

So i become submissive to all,
Didn't i let my workmate molest me day after day for more than 6 months,
Let him take my pants down, Pin me to a wall,

touch my vagina,
put his finger inside me, time and time again.

What if we got caught

Would i get the blame, i had for everything else

in my life so far??
My body was for everyone else but me,

it was not my temple,
But a tool for others to hurt me,

my breasts were an attraction,
I don't feel comfortable with myself
Because the most precious parts of myself were violated,
They were foreign to me. They belonged him (whoever he was at the time).

Especially my husband because of course

"it's ok we are married!!!"