Aohrodite Wounded - Support for Women sexually assaulted by male partners and educational resources for professionals
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SURVIVORS SHARE ACCOUNTS OF PARTNER RAPE IN LATE TEEN AND EARLY ADULT RELATIONSHIPS

Survivor's Name:

Jessica

Survivor's Story: My seven plus years of hell started on new year's eve of 2001. I was nineteen years old ,about to turn twenty in a month. I was feeling pitiful, it was new years eve and I was all alone. Then I got a phone call from a guy that I had been acquainted with for years. He offered to pick me up and take me out for the night.At first I was hesitant because I was not attracted to him.Almost immediately we hit it off , despite the fact he was in a relationship we got serious quick. Within a month of our first date he got me an apartment and furnished. He told me he loved me and all I needed to do was get pregnant. When we first met I had two jobs and attended schools full time. He stopped me from working , and eventually I got pregnant. Almost from the beginning I started to see signs that he was abusive. He would pinch when we were playing , and threaten to spit on me. At first he told me how happy he was to have me , and how great I looked. Slowly But surely he started to point out my flaws. Eventually the sexual abuse begun , he would force his self on me whenever he felt. The beatings got worse and he found pleasure in raping me after every beating.For a while I hid it from the world very few people knew the torture I was enduring. He would pull my hair , kick me , pull my ears and pubic hair. He would also threaten to kill me on a regular basis. As our daughter grew she started to realize what was happening. When she was about three she asked me why daddy had to pull my hair I was devastated. That is when I knew things had to change. I plan to leave many times , but I could not bring myself to do it.I was terrified to leave him , I was worried that I couldn't provide for my daughter and myself. He is a successful business man that is well respected in the community. I struggled for years about whether or not I could make it on my own. By this time I had graduated college with my BA and had started doing real estate.

With all of my accomplishments I still had no self confidence or self esteem. I saw myself as nothing. The abuse continued , and got worse over time.He would rape on a regular basis , beat me just as often. He would criticize my body , and tell me I was terrible in bed . Eventually he started to see another woman openly. He would sleep out for days at a time. By this time I had enough , I quietly got a place and moved. I still would allow him to come over and things remained the same.After some time I got tired of living the way I was. I broke it off and hooked up with some one else. He found out and in rage beat me with a 2x4 board. He had no remorse for his behaviour in fact he thought I deserved it. The same night He beat me , I allowed him to come over. He asked for sex and I refused , like always he forced himself on me. I stayed away for a few months , but like always he lured me back.Eight months ago we had our most serious fight. In public he beat me ripped my clothes off an told me I was a trouble maker , and I deserved every thing he did to me. I called the police , but I chickened out. He approached the police and told them I had called. The police arrested both of us,

I file for child support and put a restraining order on him. Since then I have tried to coparent peacefully with him , but it doesn't work. He plays games with the child support , and treats me like I am garbage. The moral of the story get out fast and as soon as you can. Things always get worse they never get better. Abusers are selfish people that only care about themselves. They get a high from beating , raping , and humiliating you. So far he has been staying away ,but he still finds ways to make me feel like I am a bad mom and everything is my fault. I have now come to the conclusion that I cannot coparent with him , and I need to move forward.
Submitted November 21 , 2010 3 : 40 am

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