Aohrodite Wounded - Support for Women sexually assaulted by male partners and educational resources for professionals
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Survivor's Story: My rapist was my boyfriend for around a month. We were both 19. He did not ask, and I did not consent. I was not drunk, and neither was he. I was not wearing anything 'revealing', and neither was he. My mere presence in the room seemed to be enough to convince him he was entitled to 'have sex with' me. He did not 'have sex with' me, he did sex to me, and I was not there. I told him he was hurting me, and he laughed and said, "No pain, no gain," a phrase which, to this day, I cannot hear without wanting to be sick. I feel sick now. This was the first time I had 'had sex with' anybody, and I didn't care if it never happened again. He did it again the next week, and the week after that. I'm not sure exactly how many times - probably just 3 or 4. The second time he raped me I said I didn't want to because I had my period. He said, "Well, whatever's in there is coming out," referring to my tampon, and he yanked it out and raped me. I remember the humiliation of feeling around for the used tampon on the floor afterwards, while the bastard slept. I had to throw it away; I couldn't leave it there, in his house. I have pain now, thinking about it.

This happened 17 years ago, and this is me ending the silence, and calling it rape, which I have never quite done before.

I remember a couple of days after the first time, I was talking to him about what had happened, and he said something like, "Yes, but I didn't force you, because that would be rape."

Well, Dave, it was rape, with or without force. You are a rapist. Dave is a rapist. And that is the end of this silence.
Submitted November 21 , 2010 3 : 36 am

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