Aohrodite Wounded - Support for Women sexually assaulted by male partners and educational resources for professionals
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Survivor's Name:

Clairey Lou

Survivor's Story: Prior to meeting Bobby I had been sexually abused by my uncle from age 3 - 6

I had been raped 3 times at the age of 8 by a family friend. Then at 14 I was raped again. I was sexually abused at the age of 16 by a 62 year old colleague, as well as sexual assaults by several different men. My partner used all this to his advantage.

When I met my partner I had serious trust issues. I refused to enter a sexual relationship and the pressure soon caused us to split. However when I decided to put some issues away I went back to Bobby and told him I was ready to start a sexual relationship for the first time ever. The first time was amazing, soft, slow and gentle.

Then came the time for me to start university and move into my accommodation. Bobby instantly became possessive and paranoid, however I ignored him and the many warning signs. However, I soon became friends, god forbid, with a guy called Laurence who happened to try it on with me so I told Bobby about it and he got very aggressive with me

Shortly after that Bobby convinced me to leave and live with him. That was the moment my life changed forever.

As soon as I moved in Bobby's personality changed. He began physically and mentally abusing me. Then on one occasion he asked for sex but I was in no mood for it so he started saying I was sleeping with Laurence that's why I didn't want it. He threatened to do it anyway if I didn't agree. I told him not to threaten me, to which he said it was a promise and so he raped me, starting off a regular trend.

From that day on Bobby raped me nearly on a daily basis. He would beat me till I consented or would torture me till I climbed on top. He would make me stand naked in the room in the middle of winter with all the windows open. He would make me kneel for hours till my legs ached and I begged him to stop all as punishment before he raped me.

Then Bobby began recording himself raping me and making me watch pornography which I hated. Bobby then started beating or torturing me ( make me face the wall with my nose touching the wall for 3-4 hours) till I performed oral sex on him which aroused him enough to rape me. He then started raping me anally and with objects, he began putting things over my face as he raped me. I had to have sex if I wanted to go to uni or out with my family. Also I would have to endure rape if I needed money (my own money) for toiletries, making me feel like a prostitute. I was being raped on a daily basis 3 or more times in one evening. Then he raped me without a condom and I got pregnant.

I chose to keep the baby but Bobby tried several measures to make me miscarry, all unsuccessful. I endured a third degree tear when my son was born and was advised not to have sex till the stitches healed. After being in hospital for 4 days Bobby raped me as soon as I got home cause causing the stitching to tear. Then after 4 years of rape the final straw came wen he tied a rope around my neck with my baby in my arms causing to become unconscious, where he then continuously raped me while my 8 week old baby laid beside me the whole time.

I have now left. I continued and did well to everyone's amazement with my degree in psychology and finished with good results. I did voluntary work for Samaritans and Women's Aid. I'm now 24 doing voluntary work for MIND and am near the end of my counselling training. I am also just about to finish my book I have been writing about my lifelong journey ad I raise my young child single-handedly.

I have come a long way but still have a long way to go. I still have difficulty naming what happened rape but I'm getting there.
Submitted November 21 , 2010 3 : 34 am

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