||When my husband raped me two years ago, there was very little information on the net or even in Women's Information Centres that dealt specifically with marital Rape.
There was no violence involved when my husband raped me, perhaps thats why I had such a hard time dealing with the emotions that it enveloped me in. I had had surgery on my shoulder two months prior to the rape. On that night i had told my husband that I was in pain and I took a strong pain tablet. I also had about 1/2 can bourbon and cola. I went and had a shower, dressed in flannelette long PJ's, and told my husband as I got into bed that I did not want to have sex as I was in too much pain. (We had had consensual sex the previous night so it wasnt like he was doing without!)
I went to sleep and woke at some time later feeling the bed move. I thought that he was masturbating, He reached for my hand and pulled it towards him. I became unconcious again and the next thing I knew he was sliding off of me. I could feel his wet limp penis slide over my leg. I was horrified and sickened. I just laythere, staring at the ceiling. He got out of the bed and walked around to my side and was attempting to replace the long PJ bottoms on me. I said " what the **** do you think you are doing?" He said that he had done it for me. I told him to get out, the marriage was over. He left!
I felt so sick and so betrayed. He had to have undressed me and had sex with me knowing that I was unconcious from the pain medication. There would have been no response from me and yet he satisfied himself. despite the fact that I had said NO and worn the unsexiest PJ's to bed.
I was an emotional mess and a few days later went to my best friend and told her what had happened. It was then that she told me that what he had done was rape, because it was without my consent!!! I did end up going to the Police and reporting him. But guess what, because it was my word against his, it has come to a halt. The Police spoke to him and he denied it. After all, he is a Teacher of some 20 years as well as a Student Counsellor and me? I am just me!!!
What good would it have been to go to the Police straight away? After all, we had had consensual sex the night before. I wasnt bruised or cut or beaten. I was emotionally devastated, but that that doesnt quite fit the criteria for a Police Prosecutor.
However, even thought nothing has happened, I KNOW that I did report him. That counts towards moving on in my life.
I feel so sorry for any female student that goes to him for counselling in a matter like partner rape. Will he say " he did it for you?"
Thank you again for this site. Its beyond time for this crime to be counted.