I met him when I was 15. I thought he was so cool. He has a car and tattoos. Sadly my parents didn't really care as long as I stayed out of trouble and had good grades. My parents were divorced and I lived with my father. I could never get him to pay attention to me for a second. So when I met him I thought my life made sense. He started raping me after three months of dating. At first I thought maybe I wasn't trying hard enough to fight him, or maybe I was just making it up in my head. I got pregnant when I was 16. We lost him at nine months pregnant with him. After that the rapes got worse. With our son dyng he went harder into the liquor and drugs. I was so young I didn't think that was part of it. My dad always let me spend the night with him. Though I never really wanted to I never wanted to be alone. When I would lay in bed with him at night  my body would tremble in fear of how bad it was going to be. He told me countless times if I loved him then I would at least just lay there for him, and he wouldn't have to fight me.

 

After we had our daughter when I turned 18 we were living with some friends we were renting a house with the rapes were worse because now I felt responsible for staying for my daughter. Many times I can't count how I thought he was going to kill me. From either chocking me or raping me so hard I would bleed. The last day I ever saw him I came home from my mom dropping me off. He was so mad because I hadn't called him to let him know I was on my way home. I didn't think it was a big deal. But he had been drinking. And he knew I hated that. We started fighting because he made me something to eat and I decided I wasn't hungry anymore and I wanted to take a nap before work. He got angry with me tore off my pants and started too. My daughter was in the crib and couldn't understand thank God on what was going on. He threw me all over the house raping me, because that was my punishment for making him mad. All of the sudden we had a knock at the door. It was our neighbor who was about the same age as me. He left me in our bedroom with the baby naked and told me if I tried anything I would pay for it. As I heard them talking I looked at my daughter and thought this is the only chance we might have. I got dressed in less then a second. Grabbed my daughter and ran for our neighbor. The look in my ex's eyes was the look only somebody who is about to kill you gives. I was begging the neighbor to please help me and get me out of the house with tears pouring down my face. Some how my ex convinced him I was just being crazy. Though I think he knew deep down. So he left. I knew that all hell was going to brake loose. I keep screaming our neighbors name but he didn't return. He cornered me in the laundry room with the baby on my hip. He started chocking me and telling me how I was a stupid bitch. I had to put the baby down so I wouldn't drop her because I could barley get any air.

 

He then threw me back in the bedroom and keep on his rape. Only harder then ever. Again as my punishment. He told me how stupid I was the whole time and how selfish I was. He covered my nose and mouth three times at least thirty seconds everytime I try to escape. You could see he wanted to kill me. But he knew that he couldn't get away with it. That night he dropped me off at work. And took my car as well so I couldn't run away. I called his sister and said I can't go home he's going to kill me. She couldn't give me much advice. After that I went back to work so helpless and scared. About an hour later my ex walks in with the baby and says we need to talk. I knew she had called her brother and told him. I told him I had to work but that didn't matter to him. My manager said I could go outside. He then pulled me to the car. I sat on the passenger side but left the door slightly opened in case I had to run. I remember thinking either he's going to drive away with me and kill me or stab me right here

 He started going off on me in on how I was a stupid bitch for telling somebody what was going on. I knew I couldn't get out of what I had done. So he started to strangle me in the parking lot. For a moment I froze. But then with my daughter in his lap I thought there is no way I'm going to die and her have to live with this man while I'm gone. I started screaming for help. It took about fifteen seconds but I started seeing people run over to me to save me. He let go. I ran. I didn't look back.  He took our daughter and my manager at the time called the police. They found him about an hour later. He was arrested and taken to jail for a year and a half. It's almost been two years since everything. I'm finally now just seeking help for it. I have never talked to him since then though.