My name is Emily. It was just 6 months after I had turned 18 when I was raped. It took me a long time to call it rape because I was in disbelief and I blamed myself. The guy I will call him Alex. I won't say the situation under which I met him because that will give him away. He is in a position of power. He contacted me one night after work. We began to casually talk and text. He wanted to meet me one night and I did. It was twelve in the morning. I told him I would only ride with him if all we did was talk. I was just getting over a really bad cold or virus. I was still weak. He drove me about 20 minutes out of state and parked in a woods. I was still talking but he wanted to have sex. I froze. I didn't know how to react. I told him I didn't want to have sex and he promised but he lied. I didn't say Yes or No. I didn't say anything. I tried to push him off. I was a virgin and he was so endowed. He penetrated me and it hurt so bad. It was like the more I tried to push him off the harder he went. It hurt so so bad. He was pounding my cervix over and over. I was trying to close my legs but he Kent pushing them wider. I constantly have flashbacks. I have ptsd. I take anti anxiety meds.