||My name is Leanne, I am almost twenty years old and I am a survivor of child sexual abuse. From the ages of five to fourteen I was sexually abused by my step father Jeff.
When I was five it was just touching and looking and he often showed me porn. But when I was seven, he raped me.
It was a hot summers day and I was in the swimming pool at the back of the house. Jeff decided that we could have a barbeque, so he sent my mother out shopping for the things we needed. Jeff told me to go and get changed ready for the BBQ, so I did as I was told. As I took my clothes off and started to dry myself with a towel, Jeff came in.
He commanded I take the towel away, embarrassed and scared I declined. But Jeff got mad and ripped the towel away from my grasp. Then, he entered me. He bruised me and it hurt so badly.
From that day he came into my room at night and raped me. When my mother was out he raped me and he'd often pick me up from school and said I told the teachers that I had a dentist or a doctors appointment, but I didn't. It was just an excuse to take me home and abuse me.
When I was fourteen years old, I discovered I was pregnant. I told my mother that I was pregnant but didn't tell her who the father was as I was scared of Jeff. My mother who should have loved me and protected me, called me a whore and slapped my face hard. After she did that, I felt even more hurt and betrayed that my own mother could believe her husband rather than her daughter. I ran away to the police station and told them everything. It was hard telling them things I hadn't even told family, but I had the courage to do it!!
I had my beautiful little boy and we both lived in a residential home for young mothers and babies. I was the youngest at fourteen years old.
Things were better now that I had my son, things were looking up. Jeff was arrested for my abuse, but my mother still called me a liar and believed him, but somehow I didn't mind because I had my son to look after.
When my son was three years old and I was seventeen I was told that my step-father was facing trail again, but was released on bail. I was worried and scared, but pushed Jeff to the back of my mind as I was busy living on my own in a flat with my son.
But I was right to be scared.
One night I had just put my son to sleep and I decided to watch a film that was on the telly, but the door knocking interrupted me. It was Jeff. I closed the door in his face, but he forced it open. My mother had told him where I lived and he came back for revenge.
That night, Jeff raped me again and left me bruised and beaten on the floor.
My son started to cry some time later but I was too battered to move. A neighbour heard his cries and came to see if I was okay. She saw that I wasn't and called an ambulance. I was admitted for a three weeks to recover in hospital, Jeff was arrested and sentenced to ten or more years in prison.
My nightmare didn't stop there though because I found out I was pregnant again.
I have two beautiful children, a son who is five and a daughter who is two. They are my world, even though I hate the man who abused me for years is there father, I still love them and they are my life.
I don't speak to my mother ever since DNA results on my children and on Jeff showed positive. So they are related, but my son or daughter will never meet him or contact him as he rots in prison. When they are much older and ask about him, I will tell them the truth about their biological father.
I'm not afraid to tell people that I have endured sexual abuse, even still the nightmares haunt me at night I am still, and always going to be a sexual abuse survivor!!!