Aohrodite Wounded - Support for Women sexually assaulted by male partners and educational resources for professionals
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~ Suzanne Vega~
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Survivor's Name:


Survivor's Story: I'm not really sure where to begin. I was probably 6-7 years old when it started. My best friend lived down the streets form me and I went over there all the time. At the time I thought her parents were the best people in the world! I loved going over there because they were so nice to me. My real parents were physically abusive. After a while my friends dad started to sit in the living room and watch us as we watched cartoons. I didn't think it was weird really, not at first anyway. A few weeks went by of his staring and I finally asked what he was looking at me for. He told me to sit on his lap avoiding my question intierly. I did as he said being the "polite" child as I was. He started to rub my back or my shoulders sometimes my stomach even. This went on for a few days. Finally I decided to spend the night with my friend because I hadn't before. That night was the beginning of a 6 and a half long nightmare. It started slow. Him coming in and rubbing on me and just touching me. Later he would take his clothes off and make me touch him and I'd try to avoid it but he'd always make me give him oral sex. By the time I was 10 I was still a virgin but it didn't feel like it. I felt dirty, descusting. He would tell me when I left his house that if I didn't go back he would just go to my house and do it there. The first night he technically "had" me I was so scared I couldn't speak. It was painful, so painful. I cried and cried for two days. But I always went back. I practically lived there because of this. At some point I angered him. I don't know what I did but from that point on he was mean, rough, and always threatend to kill me. I was 12 the first time he brought out the knife. He'd slash my thighs and my buttocks. He burned me with cigarettes and at one point he used a branding iron on my back. I still have the scar. He would shove burning things or sharp things into me(the knife) it hurt so bad. His wife never did anything to help me, neither did my friend. My parents didn't care, they didn't even notice my scars. It want until my brother came back from collage that someone really noticed. He scared away my friends dad an I was safe, until my brother went back to get his ph.d. After he left my "friends" dad told me "if you thought it hurt before, you're in for some even greater pain." Before everything was vaginal or oral. Now he would stick random things inside my anus. He raped me every day it seemed like, and the only time I could get away was when my brother was home. Eventually they moved out of town and I haven't heard anything about them. It's been about a year and I haven't seen them or heard of them. And I'm so happy I haven't. I'm 15. I can't go to people's houses, I can't talk to people normally, I have high anxiety, I can barely function. People have asked what was wrong before(my youth minister at my church usually asks) but I can't bring myself to tell them. They see the scars but I still won't say anything about it. No one knows. No one will.
Submitted February 8 , 2014 8 : 32 am

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