Aohrodite Wounded - Support for Women sexually assaulted by male partners and educational resources for professionals
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SURVIVORS SHARE STORIES OF SEXUAL ASSAULT

Survivor's Name:

Helen

Survivor's Story: My story stars when I was 2 years old. My dad always called me herpie, and he would always tell me to come and put my herpie on his finger, when he was drunk of course. Not knowing any better I would always go and put my private on his finger. This went on for years until I guess I figured out that it was not a nice thing to do. Then when I was seven me and my brother were outside playing cops and robbers and I was one of the robbers and he took me to what was suppose to be the jail and he took me to what we called under the house( which was just a part under the house that was dug out under a rock) once there he started touching my privates and making me touch him. He then pulled his pants down and told me to put my mouth on it. I didn't know no better so I did what was told. Then he said he was going to do the same thing to me, and before he got a chacne to do anythign more my mom opened the door and told us to get in the house. I got a beating and he didn't, so I figured I done something really bad. That night my broter climbed into bed with me and told me he was going to show me what he wanted to earlier that day. He then put his mouth on my privates adn told me not to make any noise or I would get into trouble again. He licked my privates adn then while doing that he put his finger inside me it hurt so bad and I started to cry. He kept telling me to keep quite unless I wanted another beating. I knew I didn't want to get into more trouble so I covered my face with my hands. Then he moved up in the bed beside me and he said he wanted to try something else, he had already pulled his pants down , he got on top of me and started rubbing his privates on mine and then he said for me to hold my breath and he opened my legs up wider and he put his inside of me. It was so bad it hurt beyond word s and I began to cry harder so he put his ahnd over my mouth so that my parents wouldn't hear me cry. He kept on until he finished and then he just got up and went back to his bed. A couple of days later my mom was doing launry and found my panties that I was wearing that night and ask me why there was blood in them I didn't answer becasue I didn't know. I wish I could say that was the ony time he done it, but it became a regular thing with him. When my mother passed away, the night we burried my mom, I was helping my dad wash the bed clothes off of his bed and we werein the bathroom wringing out the comforter off his bed and he told me he had somethig he wanted to give me, so he went into his bedroom and brough out a pair of lacy underwear that belonged to my mom and a top that went with it and told me to put it on. I did as told because I knew my dad and his temper and the beatings that he had given to us kids and to my mom so I didn't want that. So I did as told. Once I had them on I put my clothes back on over top of them and he said he wanted to see how it looked so he made me take my clothes off in front of him. He started to touch my breast and telling me how good it looked on me and then he picked me up and set me on top of the dryer. He pulled the panties to one side and looked at my private and then he scooted me forward on the dryer to where I was about to fall and then he put his mouth down there and started to kiss and lick, then he started to finger me. About that time there was a knock on the door. It was my aunt, wanting to borrow something, he told me not to come out of the bathroom. After she left he came back in the bathroom and started all over again. he then took me into the living room and layed me on the couch. I kept telling him I was tired and wanted to go to bed but he said as soon as he showed me something I could. He put in a dirty movie and then came over to the couch and sat down and rubbed on my body and then he said he wanted to do what they was doing on the movie. I was so scared but I knoew I couldn't do anything about it because he would hurt me. That was the first time my dad ever raped me. He did this for about two years before he desided he would share his meat with his friends, he began to trade me to his friends for alcohol and drugs. Everyday seven or eight times a day he would have one of his friends to have sex with me for his booze and drugs. If I tried to protest he would beat me and tell me I belonged to him and would do as I was told or he would kill me. By this time in my life I felt like I was nothing but a sex object and had no choice but to have sex with anyone he wished for me to. I had no way out I was afraid of everyone and didn't think anyone would listen to me or that I would get into trouble if any one found out. I had two younger sisters and I knew I had to do something or they were next in line because I had already made my mind up that I was leaving as soon as I turned 16, so I done the only thing I knew to do I was willing to face the concequences of my actions and if it meant getting into trouble then so be it, but I refused for anything to happen to them. So I went to Social Services and told them about all the abuse and rape that had been going on since I was a little child, I was taken and put into foster care until 18 and my sister were placed with other family members. I wished my story ended there but it doesn't after going through tow abusive marriages by the time I was 25 I decided I had, had enough so I moved in with my adopted parents. At the age of 29 I was brutally raped by a friends, friend I survived but I ended up pregnant with my third child. I now live at home with my adoppted parents and try daily to work through all the issies in my life. I am thankful that I have my three children to keep me occupied or else there are days I would go insane and loose my mind.
Submitted December 14 , 2011 4 : 43 am

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