PARTNER RAPE
IS

REAL RAPE


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SURVIVORS SHARE ACCOUNTS OF TEEN PARTNER RAPE

A NOTE

I get numerous accounts of rape from young teenage girls. Whether your story is about partner rape or not, I am incredibly concerned about the dreadful situations you face, and because the story forms don't contain email, I can't return contact. Some of you have never told anybody. Please, if you are a young teenage girl - whatever has happened, see this page and reach out to somebody for help. If you like, you can read my story about being an abused teenager here - please know that with the right support, the way you feel won't last forever xx

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Survivor's Name:

Dani

Survivor's Story: When I was 15, I started going out with someone nearing the end of freshman year. Things began moving pretty quickly, and I was very uncomfortable with it, and he knew it. He used to have me come over his house everyday where we'd pretty much be alone. He would force his hands into my pants and put mine in his. He had me give him oral sex, and then threatened it back, because he knew I didn't like the thought of it. He would throw things at me, and tell me that if I broke up with him or cut myself (which was a habit I had) that he would kill himself. Then he started taking my velcro watchband (which had no watch, of course) and tying my one arm to his headboard with it while holding down the other. Then he could pretty much do whatever he wanted, one time being so bold as to say "I could so rape you right now."

Then one day he followed me into a public bathroom and locked the door behind him. He laid me down, pulled down my pants, and then pulled down his. I was saying "no" and "stop it" and trying to squirm away. As he started to rape me, someone knocked on the door and jingled keys, so he stopped in fear of them seeing him. I've been grateful to that person ever since. Afterwards, I didn't know who I could tell or who could ever believe me, so I stayed quiet about it. I was thinking things like "I let it happen" and "It's all I'm good for anyway."

Then he made even stronger advances at me. I was still going over his house everyday, and he had me give him more head and would tie me down more. One time, he fingered me and made me lick his fingers. For that, I'll never forgive him. I was so afraid to break up with him, that I stayed with him for another three months, and endured the same things over and over.
Once school started back up, he went around telling everyone how I was "easy" and "a bad lay" and how I "gave bad head." I didn't find that out until a while after we broke up, and then it made sense that that was why all the guys were hitting on me and pushing me up against lockers and kissing me. I also found out that he had been hitting on one of my best friends most of the time we were going out.

It's two years later and I still have nightmares, insecurity issues, and bouts of anger towards myself. I also have problems with letting people in. I think the worst problem is, though, how I now feel like I'm useless unless someone's trying to get into my pants, and then afterwards I feel like such a sleaze; a slut; a whore. One of the worst parts about it is that when I get up the courage to tell someone, they usually say "Well, it's your fault for going back," or "You should have broken up with him sooner," or "What'd you do to make him do it?" Those things sometimes hurt more than his actions. And those who don't say something like that tell me that I'm lying because he would never do anything like that, that I'm making it up because I want some attention.

I now have someone who's helping me work through my issues, but I think it's still going to take a while. I sometimes just cry a lot, or scream, or punch myself. Sometimes I've felt so bad I've attempted to kill myself; just for an escape from the pain.
Submitted November 21 , 2010 4 : 57 am

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