SURVIVORS SHARE ACCOUNTS OF TEEN PARTNER RAPE
I get numerous accounts of rape from young teenage girls. Whether your story is about partner rape or not, I am incredibly concerned about the dreadful situations you face, and because the story forms don't contain email, I can't return contact. Some of you have never told anybody. Please, if you are a young teenage girl - whatever has happened, see this page and reach out to somebody for help. If you like, you can read my story about being an abused teenager here - please know that with the right support, the way you feel won't last forever xx
I was 15 when I started dating Aaron. He was into me at a party and wanted to have sex with me, but I didn't let him. I was proud of myself for not giving in that time, but he held it over me for the rest of our 1 1/2 year relationship. Always berating me for having denied him that first night. Eventually I did give in to his constant requests for sex. Then they stopped being requests and became demands. It happened multiple times a day for a year and a half.I was too afraid to say no to him, so I pretended to enjoy it and meanwhile made my mind wander as far away as possible while it was happening. He asked me to dress in lingerie and wear it to school under my clothes, and I would do it and then he would ignore me all day and laugh at me for wearing those clothes.
I lied to my parents and went camping with him numerous times where he cajoled me into having sex time after time. He would be rough and talk about other women and tell me I was disgusting. He told me my vagina was gross and told other people that too. He told his friends everything I did with him sexually. I got sores on my vagina from not being lubricated enough for intercourse. I finally asked my mother to take me to the doctor because I wad afraid I had a std, but all the doctor said was, "you should try to be more ready before you have sex" as if I had any control over it.
He made me have sex with him in public places and once at a party in front of other people. I just went along with it all because I knew what he was capable of. He threatened to kill me many times. He used to scare me with his weird occult books and once he sat on me and held me hostage screaming the words of some book in my face and wouldn't let me leave. Finally he let me up and I ran outside and he followed me and burned the book and told me it was all my fault. He told me he owned me and could have me whenever he wanted. I was so young I didn't know what a relationship should be like. When I finally got the courage to break up with him, he begged me to do it one last time, and I gave in because I was scared of what would happen if I said no, and I was so relieved that he was letting me break up with him I would've done anything. He came inside me without a condom, and I still can bodily feel the sickening yuckiness of his semen inside me.
After we broke up he stalked me for a while, and I had a new boyfriend,Randy who was supposed to be nice. He was nice to me, but when it came to having sex he was the same. If I didn't want to have sex a million times a day he would call me a whore and say it was my duty as his girlfriend. he wouldn't leave me alone until I said yes. Because this all happened without any other kind of abuse I was really confused. I thought I should want to be with him because he doesn't put me down and hurt me like Aaron did. I couldn't see that it was also abuse. My friends and parents all loved Randy too. I didn't know how to break up with him or how to stop him from constantly coercing me into sex, so I moved away as soon as I could after graduation. It has been over ten years, and I still have trouble calling it all rape. I don't think I used that word once in this description. But it was rape. Raped hundreds of times in 2 1/2 years.