Aohrodite Wounded - Support for Women sexually assaulted by male partners and educational resources for professionals
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Your tears will dry
You'll soon be free to fly
"
~ Christina Aguilera~
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SURVIVORS SHARE ACCOUNTS OF TEEN PARTNER RAPE

A NOTE
I get numerous accounts of rape from young teenage girls. Whether your story is about partner rape or not, I am incredibly concerned about the dreadful situations you face, and because the story forms don't contain email, I can't return contact. Some of you have never told anybody. Please, if you are a young teenage girl - whatever has happened, see this page and reach out to somebody for help. If you like, you can read my story about being an abused teenager here - please know that with the right support, the way you feel won't last forever xx


Survivor's Name:

Healing

Survivor's Story: Last week, I got a call from a sex crimes investigator. He wanted to ask me about a report that I made 13 years ago, a report that I had been trying to forget. It was a sexual abuse report, or that's what I had always called it. It was never prosecuted because I didn't report it until a few years after it happened. This detective said that he was investigating 2 reports of rape. The rapist is my ex boyfriend. I also learned that I am victim number 2 of 4 women raped by this man.

I started dating him when I was 15. He was 20. He started out treating me very well. Then he showed his true colors. He was an alcoholic. He would get drunk and accuse me of cheating on him. He would ask me to have sex with him and when I said I didn't want to, he would get so angry. He would call me a slut, a whore, a bitch and say that he knew I was fucking someone else and that's why I didn't want to have sex with him.

I would finally agree to have sex with him, just to stop his rage. This was bad enough. A 20 year old basically bullying a 15 year into sex. Then it got worse. He actually raped me, beyond the statutory rape and sexual abuse. I had agreed to have sex with him again. He got on top of me. Then, he grabbed my legs and pulled them up onto his shoulders. It hurt so bad when he did that. I tried to put my legs back down, but he didn't let me. He was so much stronger and over a foot taller. I told him to put my legs down. He didn't. I told him it hurt and to put my legs down and he said it just felt so good that way. He said that it would just be a little longer. I told him it hurt. I started to cry silently. Tears poured down my face. Every time he pushed into me, it was burning pain. He saw those tears, too. He finished and then acted so surprised that I was upset. He said he was so sorry. But he raped me more than once. And when he was done, I often had small amounts of bleeding and severe burning in that area.

I guess I was afraid to leave him. When I finally started yelling back at him when he yelled at me, he would raise his hand up at me and I would flinch and be silent. One time, in a rage, he picked me up and sat / slammed me down on the hood of my car. He had his hands on my shoulders very close to my neck and he shook me as he yelled that I was a cheating whore. When I finally did leave him, he stalked me. He drove by my new boyfriend’s house yelling slut and whore. He had his friends threaten my new boyfriend. He called my parent's house at all hours of the night. He had his family come to my house and say he had meningitis and was deaf. He came and told my mom he had to see me because he was dying of cancer.

Six years after I left him, he came to my house. A guy came to my door asking me to come out to his car. He said someone was there to see me. I asked who it was and he said “Just come out to the car, someone wants to talk to you. He kept insisting I come and refusing to tell me who it was. Then my ex boyfriend started walking up the driveway. I slammed the door and locked it. I picked up the cordless phone, ready to call 911. He left. I hate to think what could have happened if I went out to that car. Thank god I didn't.

It has been so hard to call what happened to me rape. I have called it abuse and sexual abuse. But now I am just starting to call it rape. That report that I made was a report of rape. I said he was hurting me and said to put my legs down and he didn’t. That was rape even if I did initially agree to have sex (often after being verbally abused for saying no). Somehow, calling it what it was is helping me to heal. Maybe the call from the detective is going to help me more than I ever expected. Maybe at age 32, I can finally face my past and actually start to heal.
Submitted November 21 , 2010 5 : 04 am

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