Please be aware that some of the site content could be very triggering if you are a survivor. Please don't be afraid to engage support. If you need help right now, please see the Emergency Contacts listed on this site.

I am aware that naming and owning IPSA can seem to make it "more real" and that, while rewarding eventually, this can be extremely painful. It also can throw up implications if you are still living with the partner who assaulted you. If at anytime you start to feel overwhelmed, please seek support. Here are some hotlines. Other survivors can also support you at Pandora's Aquarium.

I am privileged to be a director of Pandora's Project , a non-profit organization hosting Pandora's Aquarium, a thriving and safe online messageboard for survivors of rape and sexual assault. What can Pandora's Aquarium offer to survivors of IPSA? If you need the support of other survivors who have shared your experiences and feelings, please see this article

For safety reasons, you must be 16 years old to join Pandora's Aquarium. If you are a young teenager, please see this page and this page for resources. Crisis lines for young people can also be found here.
.*You'll have to register before you can view or post in private forums* Please note that for safety purposes, you must make 5 posts before using the chatroom.

• The IPSA Survivor-Friendly Services Database Project : I have created a databse for counsellors and services who work with IPSA to put their services into, so that women seeking help specifically for IPSA can easily find and access them. If you are a counsellor or from an orgnaization that works withy IPSA survivors, please tell us about your service in the database. That page is here. On the same page, partner rape survivors can click a link to read and share about positive and negative experiences with service providers.
• Rolling with the times: You will notice a change in the wording around this site. You will see the term "IPSA" sometimes instead of the term "partner rape." IPSA stands for "Intimate Partner Sexual Assault " and this is how it is increasingly being referred to in the professional community - also commonly as IPSV, or "Intimate Partner Sexual Violence". Not engage in pedantic hair-splitting but for whatever reason I favour "IPSA". In the interest of promoting social change through naming (I do think it matters what you call this crime), and because survivors are often confused enough about how to label their experiences, I still think that it's important to call rape rape rather than couching it in complicated nomenclature, and I will continue to do so where appropriate. But I also believe that the term partner rape can be too restricting for some of the sexually violent acts that women face from their partners. However, the fact that professionals are familiar with terms like "IPSA" and "IPSV" doesn't mean everybody is, so browser page titles will continue to say "partner rape" as this is more familiar to survivors and will be easier to find. Also since different pages may be landed on there will be a little note explaining the term at the top of each page.
• Search Box: Near the foot of each page, you'll see a Google search function where you can search this site and find things quickly.
• Share button: On the top left of all main pages, you'll see a button where you can share the page via email or your social network if you wish to do so.
• New Professional Resources: Oh, joy! In October, Sage Publications made 10 years worth of studies and journal article full-text pdfs available FREE! If you're not affiliated with a university, these usually cost $25 each to download; there were IPSV studies I'd have given my CD collection to have, and I now have them. I'm not allowed to make them available via this site, but I have certainly added their titles and will tell you where to get them . It can be hoped that Sage will make them available free again. Lynn Hecht Schafran of the National Judicial Education Program Legal Momentum - an innovative and free online course aimed at training the judiciary in handling IPSV - kindly made available to me pdfs of the training modules, and an explanatory flyer. You'll be able to access those. And just in case you missed it when I posted about it in September, you will also be able to have two timely, terrific and free-to-use IPSV support group and worker-training modules authored by Washington Coalition of Sexual Assault Programs (WCSAP).. Go to the Professionals page.
• New Articles: Two survivors of long-term IPSA sent me the most beautiful articles - which were also received with great enthusiasm by advocate friends of mine. Go here, and you'll find Carleen's article, Falling Into a Crevasse Within the Crack: My Experience of IPSV, and Becky's article It’s all OVER . . . The former is a personal and well-researched exploration of sexual assault in a non-physically violent context; something that is just so needed in this field. The latter is a beautiful and eloquent snapshot of Becky's discussions with other women in a shelter, illustrating how women will speak about partner rape given an atmosphere of mutual support. Both of these wonderful women are fresh out of their abusive relationships; that they can write with such clarity and insight is astounding and I can't wait to see what these sisters do in the future.
  Also included on the articles page is not exactly an article, but a transcript of an online chat with writer and advocate Lundy Bancroft that my online community, Pandora's Aquarium was lucky to host. Lundy's thoughts about sexual assault in relationships as well as other violence will be illuminating and incredibly alienating to survivors who read them. That can be found here.
• New Pages: Because the experiences of teenage girl survivors of IPSV do differ in some respects from those of adult women, I thought it was time we had a page specifically geared towards them. It's here. I also thought it would be nice to mark AW''s 7th birthday and have a History of Aphrodite Wounded page, and that's here.
• New Stories and poems: Stories from several more brave women here., and Poetry by Melanie here.
• More efficient escape button: I was a bit worried about the slowness with which my escape button got through to the Google page. So, I learned how to insert code that sends visitors there immediately on clicking. I was going to set it to go there on mouseover so that visitors wanting to make a fast getaway didn't even have to bother clicking, but I could see people accidentally triggering it and getting annoyed.
• Translation possibilities! Near the foot of each page will be a Google translating function. Though I am aware that translating directly from English into another language can have some bizarre and hilarious results, hopefully it will make reading easier for some non-English speaking visitors.
• "Extras" Tab: This is new, and if you click on it you'll see several new things:
  • Fundraisers: People often write and ask if I will post about sexual assault or DV related fundraisers. This is something I love to do, so I will be putting them all on this page. Please pick one or two to give to. Also I'll include a small selection of other not necessarily related causes I deeply care about.
• DV Memorial: Domestic femicide is another topic close to my heart, and I've created a memorial fro women murdered in domestic violence. If you sadly know of such a woman or girl, you can leave her a rose and a tribute here.
• Golden Aphrodite Medal of Honour: You can honour and encourage a survivor, advocate, or supporter that you admire with a Golden Aphrodite Medal here. It's all very pink (trust me for that, eh?) but they're for the great guys who fight for and with us too.
• Facebook: Become a fan of Aphrodite Wounded on Facebook!
• Twitter: Follow tweets which will detail site updates, news, my activities with IPSV etc.
• General: Just a tidy up of links etc.